Boo.

I can't help but notice other pregnant women's partners are able to work full time positions and still be able to come home and be supportive or do some small chores no problem.

Without tossing around 50s-sounding terms like “bread winner” as an excuse for why they don't have to participate once work is over that make one feel demeaned and unreasonable and kept in some sort of “place”.

I am not aiming to take a shit on anyone, but I cannot help but feel like if I had planned on biologically having a family, I would have looked for a partner with more supportive characteristics for this very trying time.

I find myself feeling jealous of women... mostly women I don't even really know... with partners totally into their whole pregnancy process wanting to be proactive and help and even thinking that a pregnant woman can still be something nice to look at.

I don't know... Mine helps as much as he feels comfortable. Like tossing some food at me or buying me an occasional present. Which is cool, but not really what I want or need.

I also can't help but notice since all this started happening he suddenly has a social life that takes him away from home as often as possible. I can't say I blame him because he's got his own stuff to sort through and I'm not that fun to hang around. And as things stand I'd rather be left alone than kvetched at. I am sure he wishes he were getting more from me as well.

I guess I wouldn't mind feeling pretty despite a look I find unappealing instead of harped on for not telling myself I look good and then on top having a bad attitude -- and looking good "for being pregnant" is hardly a compliment. I wouldn't mind not feeling like a bitch for thinking a couple chores weren't unreasonable or thinking he can clean at least his own mess. I wouldn't mind looking at stuff together that needs to get done for Baby without all the annoyance and disgust. I don't want to be told I should be happy or this or that. Who the hell do I get to talk to or when do I get to go blow off steam?

Damn horomones and neediness?

Everything that happens now just makes me feel uneasy about the future.

I just wish I had reassurance and support the way I want and need it and not the way someone else feels like giving it to me, and less like I have someone who loves taking the piss out of me.